There will be 2 parts to this post, the first half way through the semester and the second at the end.
For my hopes fears and opportunities, i will be discussing how i have planned to keep on top and achieve my goals so far, and what I can do to step up my game further on from this point I am at now.
Hopes
My hopes up until now have been that I manage to stay on track with my work and not fall behind, and in doing so i will have more time & effort to put into my work improving the outcomes. I've also hoped and tried to balance out my style of working so it can sit nicely in the middle of everything i've done so far and connect to previous work, and also work to come. I must, however, keep in mind that in doing so I have to not let that control my work and then become stuck, I have to keep experimenting and discovering new things, but learn how to use them in my own unique ways.
So far I have to say I've more or less pushed myself and managed to keep up the good work! I just have to keep setting higher goals and refine my work.
Fears
I've had a few demons in my head! I suppose I'm not as confident with my work as I should be, and I become my own worst enemy. It sounds silly when i put it into words but I get scared when I have to face doing my work in fear of it being unacceptable and bad, and having that mindset I actually put myself off doing it well, and sometimes even doing it at all, I know my work has definitely suffered because i struggle to see past this wall of bad thoughts that fill my mind, and I'm trying not to associate doing my work with bad things happening, and that doing work really is my way of communicating. It shouldn't be something I'm putting off doing because it makes me unhappy, it should be something that makes me happy that stops me from doing exactly that! I'm also pretty harsh on myself when i receive criticism and i think i take it personally sometimes, even though i shouldn't take it as a bad comment i should take it as a helping hand from my peers but again it's down to my lack of confidence. I feel the way i've written it in words it seems really really negative and that i'm extreme, but I don't mean it to come across that way i'm just trying to portray what it's like with my words.
Working with fears is difficult and sometimes is overwhelming, i did struggle a bit last year, but so far i've stayed focused and my game is on! Think positive, be influenced and never close my eyes!
Opportunities
There will be many opportunities this year, and actually being in Stockport College studying a degree is an opportunity in itself really. Learning & getting a degree is really something i try to be thankful for as not everyone can have it so easily. But talking of up and coming opportunities I've actually arranged for myself to get some work experience in a school. When I leave I've thought about becoming a teacher and I am seriously considering it as an option when I leave, so this is really a good start for me. It will be in January. Other opportunities have come for me and i consider myself to be lucky really, my dad just so happens to be in the printing industry and has a lot of contacts with people who have studios and businesses, from Web Designers to illustrators, so I am going to see if i can get an interview with someone through that. I also would like to try and get one by my own means to prove to myself that i am perfectly capable without help.
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